I got a call from the bank in town where I interviewed for a job. They were supposed to have the position decided this week, but they said that they needed another week. It's bad because it means that I wasn't a shoe-in for the job, but it's good because it means that I am not ruled out yet! YAY!
And my old boss at the library told me that they aren't considering offering the job to anyone else, so that job will be available to me even if I decide to take it at the last minute. She said that they would be able to shift a person in a part-time position into that job for the few months if it turned out that I did get the bank job.
They are soooo NICE!! I really wish that they would get that full time position open!!
The Diagnosis Is In...
The biopsy came back on Zen and it is cancer. But it's not even either of the cancers that the vet originally thought it was. It is actually even MORE RARE! That is so frickin' how things go in my life. It's like I'm living in a freak show. Seriously. It is so rare that in his 35 years of veterinary service, he has never seen a case of it before. He had to email a specialist to get more information so that we could all be more informed in making a decision. We'll know more next week.
I feel that at this point I have gotten over the shock and will be OK either way. If it is his time, then we will just do what we can to make his last days the best that we can.
The Friend Front...
I'm happy to say that my email to my friend has been a a very good thing. I think she just didn't realize how what she was doing was hurtful. Although she does get defensive when I confront her and she tries to turn it around and place the blame on me, she usually just needs a little time to let it sink in. She has since been doing a lot of extra things to show that she really is sorry and wants to make some changes. I'm so relieved because even though we hardly ever see each other, I really do still very much treasure our friendship. She really is like a sister to me!
Sometimes people aren't aware that they are doing things that are inconsiderate and just letting them know does a world of good. One of my friends used to be late all the time. Like around TWO HOURS LATE!! No, I'm not kidding. The first few times, of course I was a wee bit angry. But then I realized that she was always around two hours late, so I started telling her to meet me about two hours before I actually wanted to meet with her. That was working out great, and she wasn't even aware of it until one day. She decided to call to let me know that she was running really late (Aw, come on! She was calling when she was only 40 minutes late!). She was very apologetic because she knew that we had reservations and was sorry that she had ruined our night. I explained to her that we still had time because the reservations were actually later than I had told her. She asked why I did that, so I told her. She was shocked and very embarrassed because she really hadn't realized that about herself before. We still went out that night, had a great time, and she was never late again!
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Wendy A said... You are truly a paient friend. I am typically late (Californian late) 10-15 min. However I couldn't face a friend if I was 40+ min late.
- Courtney said...
About Zen...I am so sorry! Having two cats of my own (who sometimes seem to be more like my children than pets), I can imagine how difficult getting news like this can be.
I appreciate your attitude of "...make his last days the best that we can."
My heart goes out to you as you are faced with the tough decisions ahead. For now, just cuddle with Zen and bathe him in love...- Courtney said...
WOW. I just read the post about your friend and I can completely identify.
While it manifested itself a bit differently, I had a relationship very much like that. After scads of empty promises, broken dates, and me continually "addressing the issue," I had enough.
I am grateful that, with age, it's no longer all or nothing for me. When I was younger, I would have just ended the friendship. Now, like you, I left the door open. Well, actually, I've left the door unlocked, but it's up to him to open it. Before, when I was standing there, propping it open, all I was letting in was cold air!
All relationships are work...but that work should also bring such great reward. When you find yourself in a situation where it is ONLY work and no reward, it is time to regroup and change the strategy.
Good work, Sylvana!- Astoria said...
Sorry to hear about Zen... Keep me up to date, even though our friendship has gone a bit sour. I do treasure your friendship, despite what you may think. I will miss that howling nail biter, he's a very special little man-cat. Take care and as always I wish you the very best and much love---Astoria
- Heather said...
I'm so sorry about your Zen!
I went and read about your friend. Why do people like that do what they do? I had a friend like that as well...everything was about her and she was jealous of me because I was married. Then when I got divorced, she was jealous of me because I found a great guy. I haven't spoken with her in a year. I hope everything works out well with Punky!- Sylvana said...
Wendy A, I try to work with my friends', er, "quirks" as best as I can.
Courtney, thanks about Zen. Believe me, he has been getting lots of love. I have been treating him like a KING!! He loves that! (well, except when the "King" has to take his medicine. He's such a turd about that!)
I have pretty much always been patient with friends. I have learned new techniques in dealing with situations through the years, though.
I am so with you on All relationships are work...but that work should also bring such great reward. When you find yourself in a situation where it is ONLY work and no reward, it is time to regroup and change the strategy. I have had to cut off a relationship recently that pretty much was a one way street and really didn't look like it was going to change. This person did not respond well to letting them know what they were doing, either. I always leave the door unlocked too, but I think I would need to see some real change from this person before I'd let them back in.
"Cold air"! Ha! That is hilarious! I know exactly what you mean!- Sylvana said...
Astoria, treasured things are not let go so easily. Zen will be truly missed.
Heather, your friend doesn't seem to realize her own responsibility in her situations. And that's pretty rude of her to assume that she deserves better than you! She should be happy for you. But she might be so beaten down, bitter and self-centered that it is hard for her. Hopefully she has room to grow. Punky was quite a lasher-out when she was younger because her life was really going wrong and she couldn't figure out how to get out of it. Once she started taking responsibility for what was going on and taking steps herself to make things better instead of believing that life had just dealt her a bad hand, she has become more mature and much happier. Maybe your friend will wake up one day too.- Astoria said...
I would hope that in time you will see things a little differently, I am still here aren't I? Time will tell what the future holds, you let go too.
- Sylvana said...
Astoria, if you really want to discuss this, you know where to find me. I really don't think you want to do this in the comment section of my blog.
- "AG" said...
I am very sorry about Zen's unusual diagnosis. I'll keep my fingers crossed.
- Sylvana said...
AG, thanks. He can use all the luck and love that he can get right now. Right now he's all snuggled up with me on the couch and we are watching the Simpsons. See? Treating him like a King, I tell you!
- nope said...
Steak, Sylvana. Get Zen some steak, cook rarely, cut in tiny pieces, and hand-feed him. One of the biggest arguments between my husband and I occurred on the last evening of T.A.'s life - I wanted to get him some steak. Didn't happen. I don't remember why I didn't just go out and get some, but -. Deny Zen nothing. NOTHING. Well, you know.
Interesting sub-plot going on here - perhaps you should have allowed Astoria to continue, and we could have had group therapy!- Sylvana said...
Indiaiynke, I plan to pamper this kitty like he has never been pampered before! He'll be wishing that he had got cancer sooner. (sorry, I have a twisted sense of humor :)
As for Astoria, she was starting to get into waters that she just really didn't want to be in. But I guess if she really wants to hash it out here maybe I should let her.- Lightning Bug's Butt said...
Well good luck with that yob.
- Cal the Wonderdog said...
I am really sorry about Zen. I hope things turn out well; there are many moments and times to spend together; there is so much we can say and do in just a short time. A good reminder that we are all so lucky to be alive and have each other.
Hi Zen! Here's a big hug )o)- Elizabeth said...
Job: I don't know- I wanted to hire one position but due to delays totally unrelated to the candidates (namely, the fact that one signatory authorizer wasn't there), we couldn't go ahead with it.
So, you never know! Hopes up!
Zen: That is really good advice from indiaiynke. Lots of hugs.- Sylvana said...
LBB, thanks. I REALLY NEED A JOB!!
Cal the Wonderdog, that's especially nice coming from a dog. Zen has two doggie friends at home that are very concerned about him, too.
Elizabeth, aw, that sucks! Hopefully the person that you want doesn't find something else until you can get everything together.
Zen's eating up the love!!
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