You are invited to go out with a friend in one week and you hadn't caught the time that you would potentially be meeting. You would:
a) not respond to the invitation until the time was given by the friend.
b) ask the friend what time they were intending to meet.

You are having a conversation with a friend and invite them to do something with you in one week on a Saturday night. Your friend does not respond. You mention where you are planning on going a couple more times with no response from your friend. You would:
a) assume that they just didn't hear you and keep talking about it until they have no choice but to respond.
b) assume that they are paralyzed, and the only thing that will allow them to move again and thus respond to your invitation would be to tell them clearly the time that you intend to meet.
c) assume that they just aren't interested and that they are just trying to decline by avoidance.

You have invited a friend to do something with you in one week on a Saturday night. You do not get a response from the friend until the day before, when they are asking you when you had planned on getting together because they would really like you to babysit so they could go hang out with someone else. This means:
a) they are contacting you because they are really interested in getting together with you.
b) they are only contacting you because they can't find another sitter.

Oh, and just for the record, the title quote comes from the episode of the Simpsons in which Homer becomes a prison snitch. Snake tells Homer that the inmates are meeting for a riot and Homer asks why he wasn't told about it before. Snake says the title quote in response.


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Blogger Scott said...

We're having this problem more and more, sometimes with evite and sometimes even with personal invitations.
We keep telling ourselves we'll never invite the "maybes" and the no responses ever again, but.... we're weak.

December 10, 2005 10:31 AM

Blogger Elizabeth said...

b, c, b.

Did that really happen to you? Terrible.

December 10, 2005 10:42 PM

Blogger Sylvana said...

Scott, if I got rid of everyone in my life that was a jerk to me, I think that I would be a very lonely person. The fact that we are so patient and forgiving makes us good people.

Elizabeth, unfortunately this did happen to me by a person that I consider to be a very good friend of mine. She's apparently more confused than I thought she was.

December 11, 2005 12:06 AM

Blogger Wendy A said...


December 11, 2005 3:37 AM

Blogger Wendy A said...

Sorry I forgot to include a comment on my last comment. Life is too short to have a one way relationship. You can find a better friend!

December 11, 2005 3:38 AM

Blogger Scott said...

Sylvana, I know, but the level of jerkiness is incredible sometimes. At my wedding - my wedding! - where I needed RSVPs, there were people who just decided not to show up after saying yes. Of course, we still had to pay for their dinners.
And I guess we wouldn't ever want to get rid of them from our lives for being jerks on evite, but we probably shouldn't be inviting them to things on evite in the future.

December 11, 2005 9:17 AM

Blogger Sylvana said...

Wendy A, you would think that I could, but ALL of my friends are like this!! ALL of my family is like this. And even though most of the people that I meet are like this, I still know that it is wrong and refuse to accept it as the acceptable way of doing things. And deep down, I know I keep these friends in my life because I see their potential as people and just can't give up on them. But they do frustrate the hell out of me!!!

I hear you, Scott!! Truly amazing selfishness and inconsiderateness. I would have been livid if people had done that to me!!
I do exactly what you said, I keep them in my life, but I don't trust them with certain things because I know how they are. Like my friend that always stands me up - I know I can't count on her to actually meet with me like we plan, so I won't make plans with her anymore. What really bothers me the most is when they don't know how they are!

December 11, 2005 7:42 PM