Conversations At Our House v.38

Tuesday, November 16, 2010 | 1 Comments

SSB: Did you want to work out on the Wii Fit before you go to bed?
Sy: No.
SSB: Are you sure?
Sy: Yeah. Maybe I want it to ask about me, to know that it misses me.
SSB: It did ask about you before.
JD: Yeah that was disturbing.
Sy: [as Wii Fit] "Hey, SSB. It's been awhile since Sy has logged in." It says suspiciously.
JD: Yeah that's it.
Sy: I wonder if you stay away too long if your Wii calls the police to report you as a missing person.

Conversations At Our House v.37

Friday, October 22, 2010 | 0 Comments

[online trying to figure out how many people the University of Minnesota Field House holds]

Sy: mmm...says here that the track was built by Mondo. [in a neanderthal voice] "MONDO!! Mondo build track--"

SSB: [reading over Sy's shoulder] "Olympians Jackie Joyner-Kersee and Suzy (Favor) Hamilton--"

Sy: Wait! "Favor"?

SSB: Yeah, Favor is her "nickname".

Conversations At Our House v.36

Wednesday, October 20, 2010 | 0 Comments

[talking about Christine O'Donnell's confusion over what the first constitutional amendment actually says.]

Sy: They spout off about protecting the constitution and they don't even know what is in it. They know: Freedom of My Speech, We All Get Guns, the Law of Northern Aggression, ... and after that they just start throwing in some of the Ten Commandments. And they don't even really know those either.

Speaking of that, turns out I didn't know the Ten Commandments very well myself. I was just reading the various versions of them and most have something in there about not coveting your neighbors slaves and that your slaves get the Sabbath off. Really? Commandments on how to deal with slaves? Like it's OK to have slaves.

You know, if God is supposed to be omniscient and omnipotent, why was Jesus so different. I mean, there seemed to be a serious generation gap there.

SSB: God was all like, "Oh geez, they've really got this wrong. Now I'm going to have to go down there and straighten things out."

And then they killed him and he said, "Oh, yeah really should have seen that one coming."

Sy: Yeah, God says, "Oh, this talking to just a few people with just a voice in the sky really isn't cutting it. I guess I need go in to get this job done. I'll need to be careful to not spook them. I'll have to go as one of them. I should be sure to --"


"Goddammit Leeroy!"


Wednesday, October 13, 2010 | 2 Comments

We've had our exchange student, Pedro, for two months now. So far it is going well, in fact it is almost spooky as to how easily he shuffled right into our household. It is almost as if he had training. He gets along well with JD, in fact they do some things together. Pedro even tries hard to take an interest in the things that JD does. Now if I could just get JD to make an effort to return that consideration.

The only problem that we have had with Pedro is that he has been pressing the issue of going into the Twin Cities with a boy from school. We even sat him down and went over our ground rules for going out:
  1. At all times while away from the house you must be accessible by phone.
  2. For every outing we need to know where you are going, when you intend to be back and who (full name) you are with.
  3. As long it is in the city limits (would take you no longer than 5 minutes to be back home if needed) you can go without pre-approval but you must leave us a message ASAP.
  4. Anything out of the city limits (would take longer than 5 minutes to get back home) requires our pre-approval.
  5. Being in a car without an adult/experienced driver is OK during the day and within an 8 mile radius of home.
  6. At night and out of that radius an adult/experienced driver is required, unless we give specific approval.

I consider these simple, reasonable rules. These are rules that our son has, although I am a little lenient with him since I know his routine so well that I can guess where he is if he doesn't show up at home when he normally would. Pedro is just setting his routine, so I have to make him adhere to this a little more strictly. But he keeps pressing this Twin City thing. He wants to go into St. Paul at night with a bunch of teenagers.

Nope! I could never see me allowing my own son to do that, why should I allow Pedro? I told him that I have an obligation to his parents to send him home in one piece. He says that he understands, but then keeps asking anyway.

Another problem I have with this request is that we don't know the boy. He will not come over to meet us either. I did get to see his and his friends' driving habits and I have to say, I totally feel vindicated in my decision! They drive like a bunch of assholes. This boy also either is really flighty, or he is a real dick. He will invite Pedro to do things then not show up, he'll leave without him, or he won't let him know what is going on until it is too late. In either case, he's not really racking up the trust points with me, that's for sure.

Part of me feels that I should allow him to go for the experience, but then, I work with people who have just gotten out of high school and so far all of the ones that I asked said that their parents didn't let them go in the Twin Cities without an adult driver either. Seems like I am not alone; although I'm not sure that me being alone on the matter would matter that much to me. Right now I have a strong instinctual feeling that I should not let him go, and as those of you have followed my blog for awhile know, that feeling -- The Force, as I like to call it -- has been very, very good to me. So I will listen to it, even if it doesn't really make total sense. Problem is that it is hard to convince other people that they should listen to it too, since it doesn't make total sense at first. But I can be formidably tenacious, so I usually prevail.

I'm thinking that when he turns 18 in a couple of months we will re-visit the rules; but until then I am going to trust my instincts.

My Dream Home

Sunday, July 18, 2010 | 2 Comments

I love efficiency, especially multipurpose items and spaces. I have been telling my husband for years that if we ever built a house, I would want a ship builder to be on our architectural team.

Well strike that. I want THIS guy!

During the spring and summer I like to get up early, before everyone else is up and about making noise, so that I can enjoy the only peace and quiet of the day. My dog is up and ready to go out and enjoy the same thing. He loves to sit quietly in the yard and listen to the birds sing and smell the flowers. We both suffer from stress and he suffers from anxiety, so this is our way of ramping up our relaxation meter so we can deal with our days.

Well, we used to. Lately, every morning at 7:30am our neighbor's kid starts playing his trumpet.


The loudest, piercingest friggin' instrument that I know of.

And with all the windows open.

And for 30 minutes all he plays is scales. Then it is another 20 minutes of short, crappily played pieces of compositions. Nothing all the way through, just spurts of chopped up crap.

Right now I am a whole 60' lawn and two rooms away and can still hear it clear as a bell even though all our windows are shut. My jaw is aching from the clenching from the stress. My head is literally throbbing.

I would say something, but this kid is not always up to productive things; plus how do you tell a kid that even though he is devotedly practicing he still is utterly annoying?
And then there is the father. He comes over every morning to play with him. He's a semi-professional trumpet player with a very rocky past. Very rocky. He's divorced from the mother and sometimes disappears for months at a time. This is something that they can do as a bonding experience and something to perhaps get this guy on the right track. I would ask him if he could come later, but even if he says sure, it may be that he will find it more difficult to consistently come over at a later time and will just end the tutoring.
I don't want to take away their time together when it is such a meaningful time they both could use.

But despite all this, I can guarantee one thing, if I am tired and trying to sleep late and they wake me up with that racket, I will bee-line over there and shove their horns up their asses!!

Conversations At Our House v.35

Saturday, June 26, 2010 | 4 Comments

[Discussing the "Twilight" phenomenon]

Sy: I think that women love vampire stories because it speaks of the most exciting type of love. Like, "I know that you are dangerous and bad for me, but I love you so much, I'm willing to take that risk and sacrifice myself to be with you."

SSB: I want to see the story of them later in life when they have a bunch of kids and he's an insurance salesman.

Sy: That can't happen because they are vampires. They can't stay in a place too long because they don't get old. Like Casey Kasem.

SSB: So can they be killed, can they die?

Sy: Well they could be torn apart, and burned. Also, I think vampires need to eat.

SSB: What? You mean you have to feed vampires? I suppose you're going to tell me next that you have to clean up after them as well. [referring to a stupid comment made during our city's chicken ordinance meeting where someone said we shouldn't allow chickens because the owners might not realize that the chickens would need food and water and to be cleaned up after. Really?? Come on ignorant chicken haters, can't you come up with something better?]

Sy: Do vampires poop?

SSB: I wonder if that would make good fertilizer. We could have a coop of chickens and a coop of vampires...

Sy: I should go to this TwilightLexicon blog and ask the lady there if vampires poop. She's an expert; she would know. I bet that would make great fertilizer -- high in nitrogen...
I could write: "Do vampires, as the book "Everyone Poops" implies, actually poop?"

SSB: I'm sure they'd love you for it. They'd ask, "Why did you have to spoil all the romance with your poop talk?"

Sy: "Because I'm Sy. That's what I do. I need to know these things."