Sy: My ankle bones are huge!

SSB: Your whole ankle is pretty big. That's good, they would be harder to twist. Although you'd also think that they would be good for balance.

Sy: I have good balance! I can fall down a whole flight of stairs and not spill my drink!

SSB: That's true, but your claims of good balance are undermined when your supporting stories include "when I fall down the stairs".


Shamus O'Drunkahan said...

You guys kill me.

Neo said...

Sylv - LOL, I'll drink to that!


- Neo

Elizabeth said...

Hee, hee!

Maybe people are PUSHING you down the stairs. Hmmm, SSB?

Wendy A said...

Maybe you should stop the drinking. That will often make me fall down stairs.

sands of time said...

You two have such interesting conversations in your house

SierraBella said...

I'm jealous of your talent!

DrMax said...

Syl, if you can fall down a flight of stairs without spilling a drink, you must have some pretty nifty wrists as well.

cookie christine said...

yes, but can you finish your drink during the fall on the way down the stairs? Now that would be talent!

Shannon said...

IS the drink in a toddler sippy cup or are we talking full on Martini glass?

Sylvana said...

Shamus, aw, thanks.

Neo, I'm way ahead of you!

Elizabeth, we joke about that now. Thanks for giving us material!

Wendy A, yeah, that's beside the point.

Pink Lady, we keep each other laughing.

Sierrabella, I inherited from my dad.

DrMax, they are very flexible.

Cookie Christine, naw, I never perfected that. I think my dad can though.

Shannon, now that gave me an interesting image! I'm not much of a martini girl. Beer glass.

Lindsay Lobe said...

Ankles so strong, anything goes
Skate on thin ice or Wisconsin snow flows

Dance in the evenings to jazzy blue beat
SSB’s in time with SSL’s dainty dance feet

Nobody cares if ankles are strong
Balance life to laugh a whole life long

Lightning Bug's Butt said...

I've got small joints and I'm jealous.

"AG" said...

You have balance, just not when drinking. =D

pastamasta said...

I can't believe you can fall down a flight of stairs and not spill a drink. This leads me to suspect that you have antigravity cups in your house, which probably accounts for your good balance while holding them.

I brought to work 20 packets of Kool-Aid that I had picked up from the grocery store the other day. My boss was curious so I told her that at my other other job when they make powder suppositories the two ingredients that they mix together are both white so they need a colored powder to let them know when it has been mixed thoroughly.

She cracked up, "This will go down in the annals of the library -- OH! I MEAN ANALS!! HA!!!"

And you thought librarians were boring old biddies. She said that this made her day.

I keep getting this image of Kool-Aid Man bellowing, "OH YEAH!" when the person inserts the suppository. It makes me chuckle.


Derek Knight said...

I think he only bellows OH YEAH when he geets to do the inserting. If it's the other way around, it's more of an OH NO...

Just my guess.

Shannon said...

Wait- so they really put kool aid in suppositories? Can we request a flavor?

I prefer grape.

evilsciencechick said...

I wonder if it would then dye...uh...stuff up that the next time you went'd be purple!

awesome purple poop!

Laurie said...

That's funny!

OldRoses said...

Oh, God, I'll never be able to down that aisle at the grocery store again without cracking up! Thanks for the great imagery.

DrMax said...

I better get me some Kool-Aid stock, I hear bio-tech companies are hot right now.

Elizabeth said...

Evil science chick: if you eat a lot of something with dye in it, like food coloring, it will definitely dye your poop. Try blue frosting, for instance. But you have to eat A LOT.

So... does that mean that there is kool-aid in suppositories???

Wendy A said...

You just wrecked some childhood memories of mine. Birthday parties, friends, and Koolaid.

Shamus O'Drunkahan said...

I heard the Cool Aid guy finally met a reinforced concrete wall. He managed to get out "OH YE..." then his red glass body shattered.
It was a mess.

sands of time said...

ill be thinking of that everytime i look at a package of Kool aid now

Lyvvie said...

He likes it, you know he does! He's bursting through the walls to get his suppositories!!

oh dear, never use the term "bursting through the walls" and suppositories in the same senstence. It's so...bad.

sideshow bob said...

Kind of gives a whole new meanning to this product.

Sylvana said...

Derek, OH YEAH!

Shannon, I think flavor at that point is, uh, pointless.

ESC, they use pink for girls and blue for boys.

Laurie, :))

OldRoses, it does give that effect.

DrMax, that's a good idea.

Elizabeth, we had an unfortunate incident with too much food dye once. Ugh!

Wendy A, aw! I would have thought it would have enhanced those memories!

Shamus, was it that same damn wall that did in Humpty?

PinkLady, heheheh!

Lyvvie, yeah, that's what I was thinking.


Tayster said...

While we're on the topic of Kool-Aid, why did they stop making Mountain Berry Punch? That was the best flavor EVER!!

sideshow bob said...

I loved Purplesaurus Rex!

Sylvana said...

Tayster, that was one of my favorite flavors too! I had forgotten about that, in fact, I didn't realize that they had stopped making it. Those Bastards!

SSB, Purplesaurus Rex rocks!

There are very few movies that are so bad that I have to just stop watching them. One of the worst ones was "Master of Disguise". We got about 30 minutes into it and just gave up. In fact, SSB and I use that as a gadge as to how bad other movies are.

"It's Master of Disguise bad."


"Well, at least it's not Master of Disguise bad."

But I think we may have found a new gadge: The Producers.

It was so bad I don't even think we got through 15 minutes before we were thinking about shutting it off. I told SSB that maybe we just needed to get into the right mindset to watch it, so let's give it another five minutes. I don't even think we made it that long.

They directed it as a play, but people are just not meant to see those facial expressions that close up. And then there was the rhythm and general script, both of which may work for a play, but suck-ass in a movie format.

Thank goodness we also rented The Island. That movie was nothing like I had thought it would be, which is good. Yes, I picked it up half expecting it to suck, but how could you not want to see a movie with both Ewan MacGregor and Scarlet Johansson in it? I defy you!

I won't tell you much about it because I don't want to spoil the surprises, but let's just say it not only was far more interesting than The Producers, it was WAY FUNNIER!!!


Reel Fanatic said...

Hadn't had the misfortune of seeing "master of disguise" but agreed that "producers" is, in a word, excremental

Shannon said...

Now, that's definitely a word to jot down and re-use.

I'd heard bad things about the Producers, and now it's definitely off my "to rent" list.

"AG" said...

Wow, it muct be bad when you can't even have fun laughing at it.

"AG" said...


OldRoses said...

Have you guys seen the Mel Brooks version? Very, very funny. I refuse to see the new one because I know that it can't possibly live up to the original.

Wendy A said...

I hardly watch movies anymore. It is such a waste of time when the movie is so bad. Hollywood some real bombs out there. Thanks for saving me from renting it.

sideshow bob said...

We couldn't even get to the part with Will Farrell, but ever since 'Bewitched', his spell over me has been broken.

Sylvana said...

Reel Fanatic, welcome to my blog! That should be on the "wheel of adjectives" they have in that Sprint commercial.

Shannon, we might try to watch it when we are REALLY BORED or drunk just because we would like to see Hilter sing and dance.

AG, I'm a huge fan of MST 3K, but I don't even think that THEY could make this movie funny.

OldRoses, I love Mel Brooks movies. I might try that.

Wendy A, this was suppose to be sophisticated too, but it just sucks.

SSB, I didn't think that Bewitched was all that bad.

DrMax said...

You and SSB have good taste. I taped Master of Disguise for my kid when we got a free HBO weekend and I was stunned how truely unfunny it was. I have heard similar complaints about the new Producers (love the original though.) If you really want to test your mettle, I might suggest Super Babies-Baby Geniuses 2. The horror...the horror.

Lyvvie said...

Wow, and i thought The Producers was supposed to be really good. I'm bummed out now.

Sylvana said...

DrMax, it was on TV at my parent's house. 5 minutes was all I could take of Baby Geniuses! And that was pushing it!

Lyvvie, I haven't seen the Mel Brooks one, but it sounds like that is the one to see.

We had the meeting with the school about JD's IEP (independent educational program) for his current status of EBD (emotionally-behaviorally disturbed). Well, THAT was interesting!

At the last meeting they had requested that we sign some papers to have him tested for communication deficiencies. We said that we would need some time to look over the papers and think about it. Ultimately we decided that the least we agreed with the better; so I sent the counselor a letter telling him our position on the matter. He wasn't very happy with that, but...


Another person that wasn't too happy about it was his math teacher. In fact he confronted us at the parent-teacher conference about it. AND again at the meeting today. He said that he thought that we were doing our son an injustice and that a program in communication building skills would be in our son's best interest. I explained that we planned on doing some things with him this summer to help him. Also, I flat out told him that this would not be the first time that we had been told insistently that something we weren't too sure about was in our son's best interest. AND on those past times those well-meaning people had been WRONG. In fact, the last few times we went along with something that was supposed to be in JD's best interest, it actually made things worse.

He of course was not convinced. But then, it doesn't matter because WE are JD's parents and WE will decide what will and what will NOT happen.

The school administrator said that he himself had observed JD in action and although he thought the things JD did were weird, he didn't think that being nerdy equaled disability.

We were told by all his teachers that JD does not seek out friends and that he has a very difficult time talking to anyone. Even when he talks to the teachers, they say he won't look at them and barely says two words. I wanted to ask, "Well, what the hell are you doing to him here? He is not like that outside of school!" Shannon of the Shannonosphere can attest to the fact. In fact, all his friends' parents and our friends comment about how mature he seems and what a ham he is. So what ARE they doing to him at that school?

That's when a teacher took the opportunity to point out that if he wasn't like that outside of school, how would we be able to help him? We wouldn't know if something was working.
My argument is, he's not going to be in school all his life, so if he's only having problems in school and seems to be fine out in the real world, is there really a problem? I think not.

I also went on to explain that when I was young I was very shy.
YES, ME! I was SHY!
I thought the other kids were silly and didn't particularly care to do the things they wanted to do or talk about the things that they wanted to talk about. I often stayed in recesses not because I needed the time to catch up on homework, but because I just couldn't stand to be around those irritatingly idiotic kids any longer. IN FACT, when I was in kindergarten, my parents were dragged into one of these conferences because the school was concerned about my antisocial behavior. They wanted to put me in a program because during freetime I wouldn't play with the other kids. I would go off by myself and paint instead. My parents asked, "Is she doing poorly in school? Is she disrupting the classroom? Is she hurting herself or others? No? Then let her paint if that is what she wants to do." And NOW look at me!! I'm not an antisocial hermit who can't hold down a job. I'm not homeless. I'm not a gun-toting loner. Hell, I'm not even really shy anymore. I'm just fine.
And JD will be just fine too. He doesn't need a bunch of misguided busy-bodies butting their noses into his life. He just needs to hang in there until he gets to college and finds more people like himself.

Don't get me wrong. I understand the school's concern, but he is not the average kid. They can't hold up his actions and compare them to the norm.
YES, he will go through this all over again next year with a new set of teachers. But that is not his problem, that is their problem.

The verdict? Since they could not determine that he had any special needs that would define him as disabled, he now officially is not EBD and is no longer in need of an IEP!!



Shannon said...

What does JD have to say about what's going on and the teachers' concerns?

Flubberwinkle said...

I think that school staff should be tested to see how good they are at understanding kids. Who are they comparing JD to? The cheerleaders? Do they not appreciate the uniqueness of each child? If someone slips out of stereotype mold he/she is in need of testing? Since JD is fine everywhere else, you make an excellent point regarding the school environment. Something is amiss in that school.

Shamus O'Drunkahan said...

Woohoo - it sucks when strangers try and tell you your kid isn't normal.

"AG" said...

Nerdiness is the best. Nazis are disabled.

sideshow bob said...

Look out for the booze-puking shark!

The Doc said...

I am really glad that JD doesn't have an IEP anymore. Not actually having ever met him, from the way you describe him, he doesn't sound like he's got any kind of behaviour disorder - and really, the school didn't seem to be even trying to work in partnership with you on this, so tough noogies to them!

DrMax said...

It's hard being shy. I was always pretty shy through school too. I guess I eventually learned not to take it all so seriously but it took a while. Hang in there JD, Syl and SSB.

Lindsay Lobe said...

Agree with Dramx. Hard if he's shy, especially if has a high intellect and feels alienated.

Best wishes

Wendy A said...

Public education is made for the norm. Any child that is different just doesn't seem to get accomidated properly. I'd suggest a change in schools.

Sylvana said...

Shannon, we actually did talk to him. In fact, when I was in the meeting I was thinking, "Why isn't JD in here discussing this with us?" None of the school people had even talked to JD about their concerns. I told them it was the best way to find out why he is behaving the way he is.

JD says that he thinks that he just needs time to figure things out. I told him what they had planned for him and he thought that was a little invasive and unnatural. I agreed.

Elizabeth said...

Isn't this the second time they've brought you in? Sounds like a bizarre school. Can you change, and does he want to change schools? Isn't there at least one teacher who is behind him? I was TOTALLY anti-social in middle-school, as I said here before, AND I got bad grades, but I was not stigmatized as disabled. At least I had some teachers who believed in me. How totally annoying.

Figure things out- sounds like JD's on the right track. Sounds like his teachers would have done well to try to figure something out for once in their lives. Stick it to 'em!

sands of time said...

That school sounds a little strange to me.I think i'd be looking for another school.Its the first time ive heard that being shy is a behaverial problem.

Sylvana said...

I ran out of time commenting earlier.

Flubberwinkle, it is almost as if they have already made up their minds about him and are looking for anything that backs up their opinions. In fact, when we said that we'd work on this with him over the summer, they assumed that we meant professional counselling. He doesn't need to see a psychologist, he just needs to get out more!! Geez!!

Shamus, yeah, I don't want him too be normal. And I certainly don't need the school try to make him "normal"!

AG, "Nazis are disabled" sounds like a great song name. And I LOVE NERDS!!

SSB, I was thinking of just that when I wrote the title.

The Doc, I got the feeling that they weren't wanting to work with us; they just wanted us to go along with whatever they thought. I let them have the whole box of Tough Noogies!

DrMax, JD needs time to learn that skill. I don't think that I really did until I was later in high school.

Lindsay, the one thing that we took from the meetings was that JD does need help getting his confidence up. We will work on that this summer.

Wendy A, we can't switch schools - there is only one- and it wouldn't make a difference anyway. They are all pretty much the same. That's why we homeschooled.

Elizabeth, the first meeting was to talk about what we should do to gather info for the decision. This meeting was to discuss the results of the info gathering and the decision that was made. We can't change schools and he wants to keep going to public school, so we will wait until I see trouble.

Pink Lady, as I said, they considered that a major problem when I was going to school in the 70s, so this isn't new. I think that it is even more of an issue now since all those school shootings. They are looking out for weird loners.

Shannon said...

I agree with you- it makes no sense why no one asked JD what he was thinking, what he felt, or why he acted the way he did. DUH!!! Some teacher out there has got to be on his side- if he charmed both my aunt and my cousin (a speach pathologist for children!), someone out there's gotta be rooting for him also.

Lyvvie said...

Seems like so many teachers want to be the hero who discover the problem with a kid who's not like the others, but sometimes kids just aren't textbook.

Well done for you and the Hubs for sticking to what you know is right.

"AG" said...

Happy Mother's day!

OldRoses said...

Hang in there, Sylvana. I feel your pain. It always killed me that people who only interacted (in an artificial environment) a few hours a day for nine months of the year thought they knew my daughter better than I did who actually lived with her! For all the other commenters: It's not just that school. I live in NJ. My daughter was in two separate school systems here (we moved) and it was the same shit as Sylvana is going through in both towns we lived in.

Sylvana said...

Shannon, they all love him, they just don't really understand him. At least we had the school administrator mostly on our side.

Lyvvie, they were trying to impress upon us how critical it was that these "problems" get nipped in the bud early before they were "set for life". They are all in a panic because they think if something isn't done RIGHT NOW he will be ruined for life.


AG, hey thanks!

OldRoses, I would think that most people would remember what school was like. I do. It hasn't really changed much since I was in school except there are more disorders to label kids with and more "heroes", as Lyvvie calls them, that want to save someone.
One thing I remember vividly from the last meeting was a statement to the effect that it was the school's job to make sure that the kids were ready for the workforce and learned how to be productive members of society. Which workforce? Whose definition of productive? Silly me, I thought the school's job was to make sure that my son got an education that would help him make his own decisions. OH WELL!

Elizabeth said...

Sy- too bad about switching schools, but I'm sure it'll work out. Happy belated mother's day. :-)