SSB and I had some friends over last Tuesday for a bonfire and s'mores.

It rained.

But I always try to have a back up plan. We had Mo and Fry bring another DVD of "Full Metal Alchemist"; and Jill and Obi brought "So I Married An Axe Murderer". We had pesto that Jill and I made last fall with the basil and garlic from her mother's garden. SSB got some awesome black forest rye - it was the chocolate cake of breads! I made salsa from scratch (dice tomatoes, garlic, green onions, and cilantro and add a little salt - delicious!). And we had apples and the best damn caramel EVER!

As our guests were chatting it up in the kitchen, SSB and I were moving an end table so that we could move the food into the living room. SSB turned to me with a DVD in his hand, "I found 'Munich'!" To which I replied, "No!! I just told J that I was sure that I had returned it already! If that wasn't the video that we returned that day, what one DID we return? One of ours?" At that point Mo, the boss of J and head of circulation at the library, comes in to find out what all the yelling is about. I told her, with my head hung in shame (I mean, I want a job from this woman at the library and I can't even manage to bring my own items back). Fry laughed and she offered to take it in for me the next day when she went to work. Later while we were talking about something some one asked me, "Are you sure?" To which I replied, "Well, I was wrong about Munich." I think I will be throwing that into my inside-joke rotation - it sounds so ominous and important.

We played Uno (and the first card that Mo laid was a Draw 4 - she is ruthless! Nice to meet you - DRAW 4 you sorry bastard!). While we were playing, SSB replied to something that Fry had said with, "Like 'Sofa King'?" Fry chuckled. Mo, Obi and Jill had no idea what was going on. I told them to ignore it because it's offensive. Mo kept pushing the matter (most likely because she didn't like that her husband knew what it was and she didn't) until I finally broke down and wrote it out for her to read. So here I am, with my potential boss, in my living room, and I am having her reading out loud to a room full of people, "I am Sofa King. We Todd it."

Yep, that's how I roll.

And the more she said, "I don't get it", the more her husband laughed and the more frustrated and determined she got. Finally I couldn't take it anymore and I read it out loud. When she still said that she didn't get it, well, I thought her husband was going to pee his pants. He's a little immature - I like that about him.

Mo gathered Fry up and left shortly after I explained the joke - and reminded everyone that I had told them that it was offensive. Oh, well. Obi and Jill stayed to watch "So I Married An Axe Murderer" - awesome movie. I love it every time I watch it.

In the end I couldn't have offended Mo too badly because the next morning she called me to ask if I was interested in getting my old position back for the summer. Uh - HECK YEAH!
OK, I know what you are thinking "aren't you already working enough?" Well, it's for a good cause. J has health issues and needs the time off to recoup. Her bosses don't like to give her the time because they need that time covered by someone who knows the job. That would be me. So to help her out, I cover the hours she cuts back by. PLUS it keeps my foot in the door at the library and gives me a sanity break from my other job. That's what we call a Win:Win:Win situation.

I will leave you with that and beautiful pictures of my poppies which started to bloom this morning:


sideshow bob said...

We were talking about how great our harem sofa is, and right after that we were talking about what to call the person who won at Uno. Someone suggested Uno King, and then I suggested maybe Sofa King.

That last picture is awesome by the way.

Evil Spock said...

You guys are such fun nerds. Wish we had you guys as neighbors rather than the arses that live next to us now.

The same thing happened to us when we returned Lost Season One to the video store, we swore up and down that we returned them all, but they said they were missing one disk. Finally they caved, and let us off the hook.

A year later we found it under a couch.

Shannon said...

Before I read this, I was trying to think of all the ways you could've been wrong about Munich. That Sofa King story is hilarious. I can't believe she didn't get it. Her husband really should've stepped up to tell her rather than leave you wit h the dirty work!

Sylvana said...

SSB, if anyone was offended by it, they got over it quick enough.

I like the way that the poppies look like they are reaching for the sky.

Evil Spock, "fun nerds", I like that.

Did you have a little Abbott and Costello going about the "Lost 'Lost'"?

Shannon, I know!! But someone had to do it - and that usually ends up being me.

I got that raise that I was hoping for - and I didn't even have to ask! It was a 30% raise too.


uh-erm, I'd like to thank all the little people.

With all the extra hours that I have been working, my exercise plan is pretty much in the crapper; but I figure that I have been more than making up for it with all the gardening that I have been doing.

Here are a few pictures of my garden this spring.

Part of my main garden

These irises were a gift from my grandma from her garden.

These are some of my favorite tulips - I believe they are "Blue Parrot" even though they are not very parroty - they look more like "André Rieu" tulips, really.

This is my beautiful "Elizabeth" magnolia bloom. AWESOME!


Mrs. Loquacious said...

Beautiful flowers! I wish I had a green thumb. I live in an apt. and every plant I've owned has died, include the orchids I recently got as an Easter present. :( My thumb is deadly black.

The Doc said...

Big congratulations on the raise, and your garden is looking lovely this year. Living in an apartment I don't have a lot of opportuity to exercise my horticultural muscles, but Peach does a nice job of decorating the place with flowers, so that's as close as we can get.

Sylvana said...

Mrs. Loquacious, I have killed PLENTY of plants. In fact the only house plant I have because I haven't managed to kill it yet is a cactus - and I have killed plenty of those before too. When people ask me what my gardening secret is I tell them - VOLUME. You plant enough stuff and some it is bound to succeed.

The Doc, gardening was one of the major motivators for me for getting a house. We didn't have any money and the home prices around here were high, but I managed to find a no-money-down loan for the amount that amount that we needed. My secret? VOLUME. You talk to enough lenders and you are bound to find one that says yes to your demands.

I'm relentless.

Shamus O'Drunkahan said...

Impressive - I wish I had the paitence to create "living art" like that. I, however, need instant gratification.

lindsaylobe said...

Wonderful flowers! I can remember your garden after the snow a few years ago, and despite being busy it looks fantastic!! Congratulations on the on salary increase, it means you are finally getting the recognition you deserve, but don’t rest on your laurels and expect small increases from mow on .......I expect that size increase every year …..Ha ha may it keep on going up!!
Best wishes

AG said...


Heather said...

Congrats on the raise - that's awesome! And he flowers look gorgeous!

Evil Spock said...

Congrats on the raise! We're buying a house, and we're looking forward to the landscaping aspect. Actually the gf is looking forward to it, I just want to enjoy the aftermath.

Sylvana said...

Shamus, I really like to think of it as living art too. My yard is my canvas.

Lindsay, thanks, that's not such a bad idea.

AG, thanks. I'm hoping this year I'll actually get it to a point that I can sit back and enjoy it.

Heather, I've been enjoying the extra money.

Evil Spock, I spent years watching HGTV fantasizing about having my own garden.

A Bird in the Hand

Monday, May 14, 2007 | 0 Comments

Lately I have been watching Deal or No Deal.

Shut up! I need a mindless activity at the end of a very long Monday!

Anyway, almost all of those contestants need to be smacked liberally. Not only are they far too melodramatic, but they are just so stupid! They choose a few cases, get their offer of $135,000 and turn it down. Their family or friends are cheering them on saying, "You came here with nothing, so you can't lose!"

Uh, you may have come there with nothing, but you now have $135,000. That's yours to take - OR you could throw it down for a chance, a slim chance mind you, of winning more. So, yeah, you can lose - $135,000!

And even though they keep declining the offers and chanting the mantra "came here with nothing, can't lose"; they always are obviously crushed when they find out that they had the $1 case and played it all the way. That is always such a gleeful moment for me.

The other inevitability that tickles me, cause I just love seeing idiots screw themselves, is the friend or family member insisting that $180,000 just isn't enough money because the million is still in play, convincing the contestant to keep playing. And then three no-deals later, when everything goes in the crapper, that same person will say, "I think you should take the $15,000. That's a lot of money. Think of all you could do with that." I'm not a gambler, but I would bet that they are not going to be on friendly speaking terms after the show.

And I really am not a gambler. If I were on that show, I'd pretty much take the first offer.


Tayster said...

I have only watched this show maybe three times and it is the only game show where I root for the people to lose. They are a bunch of greedy bastards and I know you can say that about any game show guest, but this one flaunts the greediness.

The only part that impresses me is that Howie knows all the girls' names that hold the cases. I mean, they all look the same and he can name them.

Of course, he may have an earpiece in and some guy backstage is saying "Case number 26 is Susan."

Evil Spock said...

Why have gameshows been so dumbed down?!? Give me Jeopardy, at least those Einsteins earn their money.

Sylvana said...

Tayster, SSB and I root for them to lose to. How could you not?

Evil Spock, I KNOW!! The only skill you need to play Deal or No Deal is to be able to say a number and push a button or be able to say Deal or No Deal (there was at least one person who couldn't even figure how the button thing worked!). If you want to play it intelligently, you have to be able to calculate odds in your head - but I can guarantee that almost none of them do that. They base their decisions on adrenaline and fear.

Mrs. Loquacious said...

Personally, I would take my first 6-digit offer. $100,000 is a good chunk of change and though it ain't a million bucks, I would always prefer to play it safe. Then again, someone like me wouldn't be much fun to watch, now would I? Of course they are going to choose the stupidest, greediest contestants to play. That's what makes the game watch-worthy.

Sylvana said...

Mrs. Loquacious, I actually told my husband that I would try to hold out for the first offer that would pay off our mortgage, which would be just over $100,000 for us (to cover prize taxes too). Think of what you could do with all that extra money every month!

thethinker said...

I love Deal or No Deal! I've been watching almost every episode with my dad. We get so mad at those people who turn down anything higher than 100,000 when the probability of them getting anything higher is low. I wish I were old enough to go on the show. I'd definitely play a little bit smarter than most of the contestants I see up there.

Sylvana said...

TheThinker, welcome to my blog! My husband sits in the other room laughing at me yelling at the TV.

The Doc said...

Now that my free cable is gone, I don't have the opportunity to watch this show. I did watch it a few times, though: the only show more frustrating to watch than this one is "Are You Smarter Than A Fifth Grader?" With shows like these, I fear for the future.

Sylvana said...

The Doc, I can't even watch "Fifth Grader". It makes me lose hope for this country. I mean, building on the hope lost to the last two elections - what were people thinking?

Lyvvie said...

You will appreciate this. Honest you will!

Sylvana said...

Lyvvie, I DID appreciate that!

Otto Man said...

Well, I *am* a gambler, and a key part of that is knowing the odds and when to cut and run. (As the esteemed Kenneth Rogers has noted, you have to know when to hold 'em and know when to fold 'em. You apparently don't have to know when to get plastic surgery though. Yikes.)

Anyway, I generally only catch the last two minutes of DOND, as I'm tuning in to Heroes after it, but from what I've seen, these idiots hang in there way too long. Syl's right -- if you've got a shot to walk away with more than twice your annual salary, do it.

Sylvana said...

Otto Man, I love the Mad TV skits of Kenny Rogers and his fried chicken joints.

Cinco de Mayo!

Sunday, May 06, 2007 | 0 Comments

Happy Cinco de Mayo!

We celebrated the festive day by going for a walk around town to hear the springtime hoots and hollers of college kids excited about the end of another school year.

Sy: Ah! Cinco de Mayo - one of the drinking holidays.

SSB: Yes, we offer a generous benefit package which includes medical, full dental, matching 401, 2 weeks vacation, 11 sick days, and 15 holidays which include all the major drinking holidays.

Later we went to a free concert in town featuring Reel Big Fish, where Mike Doughty proceeded to give us all a short history lesson concerning the historic day - it was the day that the Mexicans beat the pants off the French and drove them out for good.

Sy: So it's not just a drinking holiday! Good for them!

SSB: Yeah, well who hasn't beaten the French?

Sy: Well, it was the day that Mexico got their turn.

Mike and his sidekick "Scraps" gave a pretty good performance even if the constant changing temperatures and relentless wind kept making Mike's voice crack. And I have to say - Mike looked NOTHING like I had imagined! I thought he was tall with a medium build with long dark wavy hair - but he was short and a little pudgy with short blond hair. He was a lot of fun, though. He reminded me of my group of friends from my first go-round in college. Those were some of the best years of my life!

Then we went home and made chicken fajitas and margaritas. YUM! SSB makes some pretty good margaritas too! I taught him everything he knows though.
We watch the Thursday night shows that SSB taped for me since I was still at work, and we finished off the night by watching SNL. They had a "Best of" show which was great! I never get sick of the "Dick in a Box" video.

What a great Cinco de Mayo!


Evil Spock said...

I went to the Derby and drank a Corona afterwards.

Heather said...

Mmm...chicken fajitas and margaritas! That sounds great!

Sylvana said...

Evil Spock, that works.

Heather, it was!

Shannon said...

I went to college with the girl friend of a member of Reel Big Fish. They had just become popular, and it was interesting to hear her side...I think they broke up? Hmmm, don't remember.

The Doc said...

My a cappella group does a Reel Big Fish song, "Where Have You Been?" We rather like doing it, but some of our audience members have had a bad reaction to it in the past, so we tend to shy away from it. Shame, though. Thinking about it makes me want to dig it out again...

sideshow bob said...

Shannon, was she the one telling him to keep his job until he started making money?

"well, I know you can't work in fast food all your life
but don't sign that paper tonight, she said,
but it's too late."

Sylvana said...

Shannon, was she talkin smack about them?

The Doc, I don't know if I have ever heard that song, but I do agree with the lyrics.

SSB, I wonder why he didn't play that song at the concert?