Blogger Notes

[Discussing the "Twilight" phenomenon]

Sy: I think that women love vampire stories because it speaks of the most exciting type of love. Like, "I know that you are dangerous and bad for me, but I love you so much, I'm willing to take that risk and sacrifice myself to be with you."

SSB: I want to see the story of them later in life when they have a bunch of kids and he's an insurance salesman.

Sy: That can't happen because they are vampires. They can't stay in a place too long because they don't get old. Like Casey Kasem.

SSB: So can they be killed, can they die?

Sy: Well they could be torn apart, and burned. Also, I think vampires need to eat.

SSB: What? You mean you have to feed vampires? I suppose you're going to tell me next that you have to clean up after them as well. [referring to a stupid comment made during our city's chicken ordinance meeting where someone said we shouldn't allow chickens because the owners might not realize that the chickens would need food and water and to be cleaned up after. Really?? Come on ignorant chicken haters, can't you come up with something better?]

Sy: Do vampires poop?

SSB: I wonder if that would make good fertilizer. We could have a coop of chickens and a coop of vampires...

Sy: I should go to this TwilightLexicon blog and ask the lady there if vampires poop. She's an expert; she would know. I bet that would make great fertilizer -- high in nitrogen...
I could write: "Do vampires, as the book "Everyone Poops" implies, actually poop?"

SSB: I'm sure they'd love you for it. They'd ask, "Why did you have to spoil all the romance with your poop talk?"

Sy: "Because I'm Sy. That's what I do. I need to know these things."