You Don't Need to Out-run the Dog...

Wednesday, January 11, 2006 | 0 Comments

Johnny Virgil over at 15 Minute Lunch has a HILARIOUS post about helpful hints that he found on the internet that perhaps weren't very helpful at all. One of the suggestions had to do with what you should do if a dog runs at you ready to attack.

What do you think it says?

Well, of course. Don't run and don't look the dog in the eyes and it won't attack. Right?


I left this comment and thought I would share the story with you, my faithful readers:

When I was young my sister and I were at the neighbors with about twenty other kids playing tag. We are all running around, yelling and laughing, having a great time. Suddenly someone screams, "Charger is out!!" Charger was that neighbor's crazy dog that had bit everyone in the family and a couple of visitors already - he's just nuts. Kids are screaming, running in all directions, leaping over fences, fighting to keep the garage door closed as other kids are trying frantically to pull it open to get in there themselves. EXCEPT my sister. She stood perfectly still like she had always been told that she should.

I saw the whole thing from our living room window (I was really fast and was always prepared to make a quick escape) - Charger ignored all the moving kids and went straight for the easy target - my sister. Ripped her leg right open.

Stand still my ass! I was no fool. But it seemed to be true that the best way to survive was to bring a slow person with you.

Oh, and I heard that peeing on yourself was a great way to make bears go lose interest.


Blogger sands of time said...

I think its always useful to be fast runner

January 11, 2006 11:19 AM

Blogger Lindsay Lobe said...

Hi Sylvania

Dogs will be Dogs but not Opera Dogs

They used dogs with make believe manes as lions for the production of the opera AIDA, as in the dress rehearsal it’ worked well (just walked them through without music).

They looked magnificent.

On the opera night debut with music, the dogs all howled and had to led off in disgrace, to the howls of laughter from the audience.

Cattle Dogs are not Dogs For Children

When I was holiday on a farm as a 5 year old, a particular cattle dog took delight in ‘rounding me up ‘ and terrorising me. Although I didn’t t get bitten , it was more due to the abundance of many trees on the property. My holiday life was a misery and complaining got me nowhere…….good Cattle dog ……..was the unsympathetic response to my pleas for Help. Life seemed hard I decided to take stand.

Next time as he came for me with snarling fangs I whacked him as hard as I could with apiece of Log and held my breath. He stopped and stood motionless for what seemed an eternity. We just looked at one another !!

Eventually he walked off, never to show the slightest interest in me again. I rushed home to tell my story to my grandparents but they didn’t t seems particually interested as they had organised a horse for me ride , where I would be safe and high.

January 11, 2006 4:26 PM

Blogger Derek Knight said...

dogs are bad news, plain and simple.

January 11, 2006 5:09 PM

Blogger Sylvana said...

Pink Lady, that is so true!

Lindsay, opera dogs! Ha!!

Sometimes you have to be really tough with a dog to get their respect.

Derek, boy that dog must have done you really wrong!!

January 11, 2006 5:44 PM

Blogger Scott said...

Peeing all over yourself would certainly make me lose interest in you

January 11, 2006 10:47 PM

Blogger DrMax said...

Don't worry Syl, if a bear attacked me, I'd have no problem peeing my pants.

January 11, 2006 11:46 PM

Blogger Wendy A said...

The dog isn't the problem. Maybe the owner should have been more responsible with an agressive dog(one bite and he should have been put down). Bet your sister isn't a dog lover at all. Poor girl.

January 12, 2006 4:49 AM

Blogger Wendy A said...

In canada they advise hikers/walkers to wear a bear bell to alert their presents to bears.

They also recommend hikers/walkers to learn to identify bear scat.

Blackbear scat has berries.
Grizzly bears have bells in their scat.
Enjoy your walk.

January 12, 2006 4:57 AM

Blogger The Doc said...

If you're with a group and come across a fierce bear OR a dog, remember: you don't have to outrun the animal, you just have to outrun one of your friends.

January 12, 2006 11:03 AM

Blogger Kathleen said...

Dog and bear attacks I can't speak to.
Am I the only one to have been attacked by a monkey? I was 11 and walking back to school after lunch. The neighbor's pet monkey (from their days in S. Africa) had escaped and ran across the road to snack on my leg. I don't remember how I got free but I'm sure I have never run so fast in my life.

My parents insisted the neighbor's donate the monkey to the zoo in Vancouver. (Funny they didn't think of that themselves since I was about the 6th victim on our street).

Still have faint scars on my leg and still don't like monkeys.

By the way Sylvana, I am enjoying your blog. I hope you do make it to the land down under for that girls' night out.

January 12, 2006 1:34 PM

Blogger Sylvana said...

Scott, I think that works for a lot of things.

DrMax, those instincts are pretty sharp.

Wendy A, now that you mention it, she has owned about twenty or so cats in her life but only one dog, which my dad shot. So you might have something there. Or it could be the trauma from having your only dog taken out into the woods and killed by your father...

The Doc, that's what the title of my post is from- the old joke that you don't need to outrun the whatever, you just need to outrun your slowest friend.

Kathleen, welcome to my blog!! A monkey attack?! That sounds like a great story to tell new people! Really break the ice.

I've only been bitten by a few animals: once accidentally by my childhood dog - we were playing tug of war, once by a hedgehog, once by a sugar glider, a couple of times by my guinea pig, and once by a very mean hamster. No monkeys. I'm sure I should be glad for that.

I really do hope to go to NZ sometimes within the next few years. And when I do, I am certainly going to look up everyone I know!! A girl's night out kiwi style sounds like a blast!

January 12, 2006 6:30 PM

Blogger Johnny Virgil said...

Hey Syl, thanks for the props!


January 12, 2006 9:25 PM

Blogger Irb said...

When I was a kid, we had a mean doberman in our neighborhood named Serge. He never got loose and bit anyone, but he did used to call our house in the middle of the night, and then hang up. Also, he once dumped a bunch of garbage on our lawn.

What a bastard.

January 13, 2006 2:18 PM

Blogger Sylvana said...

Johnny Virgil, I can't help it. You just write such funny stuff!! And I like to share.

Irb, bastard indeed! You should have hid marshmallows in his dog house to attract skunks.

January 14, 2006 4:42 AM