Good News or Bad News?

Wednesday, February 27, 2008 | 0 Comments

I just talked to Mo tonight and she informed me that I am first pick for the library position. That means that if I want the job, I have the job.

I have been waiting for a full-time, full benefit, real staff position at the library for years! So why is this so depressing? Why is it making me so anxious?

Bad hours and bad timing.


Human resources haven't contacted me yet, so I still have time to decide. But what am I going to do? I really do love both my jobs. And both have crazy people that I would have to deal with on a daily basis.

I have good friends at the library. I am afraid of losing them as friends if I have to work as an equal coworker with the one (she can be very silly and frustrating) and as an underling to the other (we will butt heads!).

I have good friends at the pharmacy that I am afraid I'll lose if I take the other job as they will see it as betrayal and abandonment.

The pay at the pharmacy is better and has potential for being even greater. The pay at the library is not as good, and will not improve in the future.

If I don't take the job at the library, they will be greatly disappointed, but life will go on and they will find someone else. If I leave the pharmacy, I fear the place will be crippled even worse than it is right now. A couple of people have even told me outright that if I left, they would be fast behind me as I am their island of sanity (yeah, ME, that is how bad it gets there!).

I fear everyday that the pharmacy owner will crack under all the pressure she's under and shut down the place -- and without a pharmacist, we can't even open the store. But, with the economy the way it is and educational budget cuts what they are, I'm not so sure that the library position is so safe either.

The library promised to be fairly flexible with their hours, and it would not be that difficult to take time off during the summer. But my hours are VERY flexible at my current job -- I write my own schedule and I can do some of my work at home. Plus my son works with me, and would most likely not have the job if I left.

I love hanging out with the whole staff at the library, some of the pharmacy staff I could do without.


At the library, every semester I will get new workers that I will most likely not be able to choose. At the pharmacy, I will pretty much have a say in every worker hired.

I have way more power over my environment at the pharmacy, and you know what? I like that. A lot.


I just don't know! I was kind of hoping that something would have been decided for me at this point. Maybe my current boss would have a nervous breakdown. Maybe I wouldn't have been first choice. Maybe either of them would have said "no" to THREE WEEKS OFF!! I mean, COME ON!! Maybe I should have asked for a month...

As you can see, they both want me really bad. Both are really counting on me to come through for them. And I like both of them a lot, if for different reasons.

I have never had such a difficult career choice in my life.
I'm going to go curl up in a corner now and hope this all blows over.
Nudge me when the coast is clear.


evilsciencechick said...

OK, you are being ENTIRELY too nice about this! You are so worried about what the people at either job will do, that it's clouding your judgment.
You are not responsible for their happiness or sanity.

Now, take a step back and weigh each job according to YOUR needs and YOUR happiness. AND the needs and happiness of your family. YOU GUYS COME FIRST! Not them. They will survive without you. and if they snub you for making a decision that's best for you, then maybe they weren't really your friends in the first place. Friends are generally HAPPY when you make a move that makes you happy.

So which one would make you happy? Would you be happy with more money, or doing something you have passion for?

Good luck! I know these decisions are never easy!!! (((hugs!)))

Sylvana said...

ESC, thanks. It is a tough decision. They both are great in some ways and both suck in some ways. It's trying to figure out what good stuff I need and what sucky stuff I can tolerate that is most of the problem.

Mrs. Loquacious said...

You have a very tough choice ahead of you, Sylvana! :( Unfortunately, I cannot offer advice of any merit to your situation since it is uniquely your own. That said, *I* am personally a library lover; I entered the working world by being a page at the local library for 4 years. I'm finding that whatever happens, I tend to be drawn back to libraries, even though I realize that librarians do so much more than just order and process new books. This is why my future dream is to work as a teacher-librarian with a focus on balanced, early literacy. :)

Good luck with your decision; may you find peace with whatever you decide!

Shannon said...

I want to echo ESC comment. The decision is about you and now how either place will cope. If the pharmacy cracks without you, it's because of bad leadership which you currently cannot fix. What if it closes with you there?

I think you should choose whatever will make you (and your family of course) happy, whatever you will like doing the most, and whatever will afford you the most potential in the future.

Does either job offer more room to grow and learn?