What's That Sound?

Tuesday, December 12, 2006 | 0 Comments

In the paraphrased words of the infamous Ross Perot, that sound would be the big sucking sound. But not of jobs, of renters.

Seriously. Two days after we signed a lease for the one apartment, the tenant in the lower unit gave his notice. What the hell? I think that the economy has finally driven him to move in with his girlfriend.

THEN two days later (today) SSB drove out to our other property to find out what was going on with the tenant there. He hadn't paid rent yet and when I called, his phone had been disconnected. We knew the tenant was on disability, although we weren't sure what his disability was. I told SSB that if the tenant didn't answer the door he should go in to check if the heat was still on and if all the water was off; but that if he was greeted with any funny smells, he should just call the cops.
After sufficiently freaking him out with that little nugget he was actually relieved to find not a body lying on the floor, but this instead:

"Had to move. Keep deposit. I just spent $300.00 on gas. Thanks!"

Yes, that is indeed a brown paper towel, like the ones that they have in gas station bathrooms. SSB said all the water was off, the heat was turned down but not off, and the place was exceptionally clean as well. The "gas" refers to the LP tank that he apparently just had filled for the winter. Now why would he get the tank filled and then move?

Odd. Very, very odd.

All day we have been developing a story to go with it. Themes so far involve being arrested, running from the law, witness protection program, running from the mob, secret agent, abducted by aliens, and schizophrenia.
I suggest you have a little fun and create your own story.

I'll miss him. He was a good renter.

And on the secret agent note...
I went to see Casino Royale tonight.

I was really skeptical. I had been lobbying for Adrian Paul as the new Bond (it was my very first post, in fact!). But he didn't get it. :(
So I was ready to hate ANY new Bond.
But I just couldn't. He's too good. Very dark, handsome, tough, mysterious, funny, rough around the edges, with a vein of sensitivity hidden somewhere deep inside. A fabulous Bond.

Sorry Adrian.


Shamus O'Drunkahan said...

Yes, the new Bond rules.

There's a great site called "Found" that has all sorts of things like that note. It's fun to try and fill in the blanks.

Flubberwinkle said...

This post is packed with suspense, action, bad guys /good guys.

A thoughtful fugitive who runs but
>>turns off the water supply in case of a leak,
>>leaves a filled LP tank
>> AND a clean house behind?
Sounds like MY kind of "criminal".

I've heard good things about this new Bond. James Bond. I'm sold and plan on seeing this new double-O 7 flick soon.

OldRoses said...

Deadbeat Dad. They spend money on everything but their kids.

Shannon said...

I agree w/ Shamus- FOUND magazine is a good place for that note. How strange- I don't get the gas reference...what's an LP tank?

I felt so-so on the Bond movie. I liked the new actor as Bond...I agree he was awesome, but the movie itself was too long. As soon as I thought the plot was resolved, they kept going and going. They needed to re-pace it to make it flow better.

But I love the rough Bond character. How badass!

Derek Knight said...

Scenario A: The joint was haunted. The old man got tired of having conversations with the dead at 3am every morning and went in search of a less haunted place to live.

Scenario B: Kidnapped! Or...Oldmannapped! The kid...er...Well, the napper forced him to scrawl the note prior to taking him to Canada to serve as his manservant.

Scenario C: (my favorite) after many years of "just getting by," your tenant decided to finally pursue his childhood dream of running off to join the circus. I saw him last week, actually, working as "limpy the disabled clown." He's an inspiration to all the kids out there who have no skill set, but yet they just keep trying. By the way, his torch juggling routine went poorly but the EMTs responded quickly enough that he'll be back up and around within the next year.

Sylvana said...

Shamus, SSB popped over there really quick and we were very glad that our renter didn't leave us THIS NOTE.

Flubberwinkle, it certainly could have been worse.

OldRoses, damn dead beat dads! I don't think that was the case. He was living off disability. If they found him to give him check, they found him to garnish it too.

Shannon, LP gas is basically liquid propane.

The false endings in Casino Royale were on purpose to surprise and increase the sense of tragedy. It's the same tool they use in horror movies to really scare you.

Derek, maybe that's how he got disabled in the first place!

sands of time said...

I have to agree i love Daniel Craig as the new bond.

Kari said...

Hey Sylvana!!!!

Yes, my dad rents out property too and it is such a hassle running around after people. One of our tenants actually stole all of our doorknobs, light switch plates and any other little nuggets he could find. Ridiculous.

I think the secret agent is most interesting. Also, it might explain why it was so clean.

Anonymous said...

How about schizophrenic aliens?

Sylvana said...

OL, he wasn't even on the list of potential Bonds when I was promoting Adrian Paul.

Kari, glad to see that you are back! I thought that the things that our tenants took were weird - like the shelves above the washer and dryer and showerheads.

Salihah, I'd run from schizophrenic aliens too!

Wendy A said...

I think he was diagnosed with teminal cancer and didn't want to hassel the security deposit inspection procedures. Life is really just too short to sweat the small stuff.

Maybe he won the lotto and the deposit just seem insignificant in comparision to the millions he won.

I am going to check out the New Bond.

Sylvana said...

Wendy A, I LOVE both of those stories!! Very creative.

SierraBella said...

I love wendy a's lotto story too!

Sylvana said...

Sierrabella, I could stand to win the lottery, but right now I would settle for some really good renters.

Anonymous said...

Loved the note. Great story.

I've heard good things about Casino Royale so maybe I'll haul my lazy backside out to the movies to see it.

Hope you had happy holidays!

Sylvana said...

Douglas, I know you would appreciate the note we found in the medicine cabinet written on the back of a packaged bandage, "I DON'T HAVE ADD, IT'S JUST... hey, LOOK! A SQUIRREL"