Last week the school demon reared its ugly head again. SSB and I were brought in for what I like to call an "Intervention Meeting". It really does feel like that since there is just about every teacher in the school there along with often times the principal, a psychologist or two, and a couple special ed teachers.
And then there is me and him. Two people who don't seem to hold a lot of clout since we don't have their degrees.
The reason that we were brought in was because JD yelled at a kid in study hall for teasing him. JD was trying to study, there was a dripping faucet. He told the substitute teacher that it was dripping and this boy started teasing him. "You did it! You broke it!" and he wouldn't shut up, so JD yelled at him. That shut the boy up! So where was the teacher in all this? It's not like JD punched him or stabbed him or even threatened to kill him, he just yelled "SHUT UP!" And really, who hasn't yelled that at some annoying prick at some point in their life? The teachers at the meeting said that the boy was just joking. I said, "Well, he'll be more careful about that in the future, won't he?"
This particular drippy-faucet event spurred the school to look into his record and they found the IEP (the thing that got him into the useless special ed program in elementary school). And they said this like we were trying to hide it from them. THEY HAVE THE RECORDS!!! Plus, when we went to the school before we decided to enroll him, we talked to the counselor and told her about the problems that we had had while JD was in elementary school, including the deal about the IEP. We told her that we would like to know if there was a way that JD could quietly deal with any frustrations that he might have in school. She said that he could come down to her room whenever he needed to talk and that she would give him an open hall pass to do so. Well, he forgot that he was supposed to go talk to her instead of blowing up at people, but she also seemed to have forgotten that we even had that conversation.
They were trying to tell us that he needs to fit in more; that he's not acting like a normal teenager. Oh, really?
NO SHIT!!!
I remindded them that he's NOT a normal teenager; and no one should be trying to make him into one. It will just end up in frustration on both ends. What they need to be doing is find ways to help JD excel using the gifts and quirks that he has, not trying to make him into a round peg.
They point out that he seems anti-social or at the very least seems to be struggling with social situations. They are worried because he was a homeschooler and feel that maybe he needs help learning how to socialize. Then they ask if he has any friends in or outside of school.
Are ya kidding me? They ask me this shit all the time, and I tell them the same thing EVERYTIME!! YES! He has plenty of friends! In fact, they are over EVERY DAY! And he has friends that he goes and spends the day with. Their parents LOVE him and the kids are calling the house begging to set up times that they can get together. He has friends in school too. I think we answered that with that spectacular birthday party that he had. He comes home all the time happily telling us how popular he is. How many fucking friends does he need to make them happy?
Well, he quite often will not go outside for lunch break. He instead will sit inside and draw, read, write stories, or do his homework. Yeah, so what's the problem? I was going to tell them that I did the same thing when I was a kid, but I don't think that they would take much comfort in that.
They also said that he has trouble finding a place to sit at lunch. He seems to wander around not knowing where to sit. I explained that the he is usually one of the last kids to go through the line and by time he gets to the lunch room all the kids that he wants to sit with are already at full tables. And he doesn't want to sit somewhere where a person may be saving a seat. I warned them that it is very easy to misinterpret JDs motivations and that they should maybe ask him what's going on instead of just assuming that they know why.
Later that day, I asked him, and he told me that the reason that he has trouble finding a place to sit at lunch is because when he gets to lunch the only tables that are left have a bunch of kids at them that talk about gross stuff. I asked, like what. He said, "boogers, puke, guts, the usual boy gross-outs, and …S-E-..X". And he squirms just spelling it out. "Oh, yeah", I say, "like what?" And he told me that they get really graphic talking about sperm, sexual body parts, who they want to do it with, etc. And he said they do this out at break too, so he doesn't want to be around them. That's why he sits inside.
He's 13. If he doesn't want to hear the hormonal ranting of his classmates all day and has found a way to get around that, well, I say the more power to him! And I was so totally right that the teachers were jumping to conclusions. They thought it was because he was anti social- no. It's because he doesn't want to be involved in their nonsense. And I don't blame him! HE'S 13!!!
Are they are suggesting that I encourage him to be as crass as those kids, maybe push him into sexual activity, just so that he can "fit in"? Well, they can shove it!
I was talking about this to a good friend who also has kids in the local school system. He said that they may think that they have your kid's best interest at heart, but they really don't know your kid better than you do. He told me about some problems that he had had with the school getting too pushy and trying to take control of one of his kids' parenting. My friend is a fairly mainstream guy who respects authority - not a foilhat wearer or anything - and even HE distrusts the schools!! He told me not to agree to any testing. And I think he is right. If they want to get him into a program, I certainly am NOT going to help them get him there.
Why can't they just let JD be JD?
15 comments:
Homemade mochas!!!
There's always one friggin' thing you can't unscrew in any DIY project. Hope no damage was done to nails or knuckles.
I loosened it up for you!
Shannon, mmmmm... MOCHAS!!
DrMax, that is very true. We usually soak it in WD-40, whack it into a few things, try heating it up, swearing at it... but the easiest way to get something unscrewed is to tell someone else that it just won't budge.
SSB, right.
Buzzzing!
Herseys chocolate!! I love the stuff. We don't get it in Tasmania or rarely in Canada. The Mochas look Fab!
AG, bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz! People can usually tell when I have been drinking mochas.
Wendy A, everyone always raves about European chocolate, but when I was overseas and had some Euro chocolate I kept thinking to myself that Hersheys kicked their ass. Hersheys has a nice layering of flavors that Euro chocolate just doesn't have.
Mmmmmmm! CHOCOLATE!!!
well, I can at least learn from your misfortune. If I get a water softener, I'll hire someone to install it. I'm having enough trouble rebuilding my sprinkler system valve assembly right now...
Those would definately keep you going.they sound lovely.
http://pinklady.typepad.com/
That sounds like quite a lot of work, so I'm glad you had delicious chocolate and coffee to keep you going. Your D.I.Y. attitude is an inspiration to me, a man who didn't even know how to replace a fuse in his stove until a few days ago.
The blogosphere misses you. Come back!
Derek, ah! Home improvement! I still have to finish roofing the garage/shed, painting the house trim, ripping down wallpaper and painting, replastering my stairwell, building shelves in the kitchen...
I don't think that it ever ends.
PinkLady, mmmmmmm....MOCHAS! I really fell in love with them while I was over in Scotland.
The Doc, it is never too late to learn how to D.I.Y!
Shannon, I feel so guilty! I hadn't even realized how long I've been away!
Hi Sylvana
What a splendid effort, your home and that Scottish brews fit for a Queen.
That reminds me her majesty is similarly talented, as when the plumbing went astray in the Palace; she remarked …“If that’s a toilet I will fix it, I am an expert in plumbing”, which she promptly did!!
During the 2nd Worlds War she enlisted as a mechanic, repairing and servicing Land rovers.
Rest assured the Queen, like yourself, is not afraid to get her hands dirty so I guess you must being feel like the Queen of England at the moment.
Apart from the fact you dont also attend 750 functions a year. Oops I forget, shes turned 80 and is cutting back to 450.
best wishes