You know how to polka , but never tried it sober....
You know what knee-high by the Fourth of July means.
You know it is traditional for the bride and groom to go bar hopping between the reception and the wedding dance.
You know the difference between "Green" and "Red" farm machinery, and would fight with your friends on the playground over which was better!
You buy Christmas presents at Fleet Farm.
You spent more on beer & liquor than you did on food at your wedding.
You hear someone use the word "oof-dah" and you don't break into uncontrollable laughter.
You or someone you know was a "Dairy Princess" at the county fair.
You know that "combine" is a noun.
You let your older siblings talk you into putting your tongue on a steel post in the middle of winter.
You think Lutheran and Catholic are THE major religions.
You know that "creek" rhymes with "pick".
Football schedules, hunting season and harvest are all taken into consideration before wedding dates are set.
A Friday night date is getting a six-pack and taking your girlfriend shining for deer.
Saturday you go to your local bowling alley.
There was at least one kid in your class who had to help milk cows in the morning... phew!
You have driven your car on the lake.
You can make sense of "upnort" and "batree".
Every wedding dance you have ever been to has the hokey pokey and the chicken dance.
Your definition of a small town is one that only has one bar.
The local gas station sells live bait.
At least twice a year some part of your home doubles as a meat processing plant.
You think that the start of deer season is a national holiday.

I got this in my email from my sister a while back and I can attest that it is fairly accurate.

I do not know how to polka, but could probably do it if I was drunk enough.

I do know what should be knee high by the Fourth of July.

I only went to one non-Wisconsin wedding and was surprised that there wasn't the bar-hop between the ceremony and the reception. And, although we did the Hokey-pokey, I only learned of the Chicken Dance at the non-Wisconsin wedding.

There are only two brands of farm equipment, John Deere and all the rest.

I HAVE bought Christmas presents at Fleet Farm!

Your wedding is considered a disaster if there isn't ample alcohol - and besides, no body cares if the food is bad if they're drunk.

I know "oof-da" and "combine" well.

As far as the steel post - I am not that stupid, why would I ever want to lick a post? But I did get an icicle stuck in my mouth once!

Crick = creek. Warsh = wash. Upnort = Up North (my neck of the woods). Batree = battery. I don't speak the language, I just understand it.

"Football schedules, hunting season and harvest" are taken into account before planning ANYTHING!

There were several children in my class that had to get up and milk cows in the morning.

I have driven my car on the lake. Once I did it right after work (at about 1am) and got it stuck in a snow bank in the middle of the lake. I was not dressed in winter gear; in fact, I was wearing Chinese slippers and only had a light jacket. I had to walk about a mile to the nearest building with a light on - a bar - for help. And, as is normal, everyone in the place was not only willing, but thought it a treat to come to the rescue. So two drunk guys got in their truck, drove out to my car, chained it to theirs ('cause anyone with a truck in Wisconsin has tow chains, you know) and towed it off the lake.

To give you a sense of the importance of bars in the lives of Wisconsinites, there was a town due north of us that had a population of 6. They had 2 bars!

Every gas station has bait where I come from.

Growing up, our basement and garage served as the deer processing areas and the kitchen served as the fish and small game processing area.

It wasn't until I moved away from my home town that I realized that the whole country didn't shut down for the week following the start of the gun deer season.


Shannon said...

This is hilarious. I'm forwarding it to my father immediately.

Leon J. de la Garza said...

That's some funny stuff!
I've received similar e-mails about where i am from, i'll try and translate them to english so you can read it.

Apparently everywhere is different.

sideshow bob said...

Fleet Farm has everything that everywhere else doesn't have.

That's right.

lindsaylobe said...

Interesting points about growing up in the country!

I think maybe we could al benefit from living more simple lifestyles; indeed that’s what my youngest daughter tells me. If it’s of interest pop over and listen to her on national TV singing and talking about downsizing.
Best wishes

Lyvvie said...

I get most of it except one part: why would anyone want to drive a car on the lake?!?!

Sylvana said...

Shannon, I thought of you when I posted it!

Leon, send me an email when you do post it!

SSB, Fleet Farm has been good to us.

Lindsay, I do try to get back to simpler things as much as possible.

Lyvvie, well, imagine a HUGE perfectly flat, open area where you can really get out some aggression/energy via automobile! Skidding, U-ies, doughnuts. It is like a gigantic parking lot without obstructions. It's a beautiful thing.
And don't worry, as far north as we were, those lakes had a THICK layer of ice (as in yards thick) and were perfectly safe to drive on.

Michael Manning said...

Oops, I mention John Deere on my BLOG!