Wolves Rule!

Wednesday, May 27, 2009 | 0 Comments

I like wolves, you like wolves, who doesn't, right?

But hot holy hell! Three wolves?! I nearly wet my Zubaz when I laid eyes on this mystaculous delight. What kind of mad genius designed such a heavenly creation? Surely it is far beyond the scope of mere mortal humans. It must have been created by super-intelligent aliens, or there really is a God. But there is only one question I really need the answer to -- where can I get one?

A taste of the praise:
Dual Function Design, November 10, 2008
By B. Govern "Bee-Dot-Govern" (New Jersey, USA) - See all my reviews
This item has wolves on it which makes it intrinsically sweet and worth 5 stars by itself, but once I tried it on, that's when the magic happened. After checking to ensure that the shirt would properly cover my girth, I walked from my trailer to Wal-mart with the shirt on and was immediately approached by women. The women knew from the wolves on my shirt that I, like a wolf, am a mysterious loner who knows how to 'howl at the moon' from time to time (if you catch my drift!). The women that approached me wanted to know if I would be their boyfriend and/or give them money for something they called mehth. I told them no, because they didn't have enough teeth, and frankly a man with a wolf-shirt shouldn't settle for the first thing that comes to him.

I arrived at Wal-mart, mounted my courtesy-scooter (walking is such a drag!) sitting side saddle so that my wolves would show. While I was browsing tube socks, I could hear aroused asthmatic breathing behind me. I turned around to see a slightly sweaty dream in sweatpants and flip-flops standing there. She told me she liked the wolves on my shirt, I told her I wanted to howl at her moon. She offered me a swig from her mountain dew, and I drove my scooter, with her shuffling along side out the door and into the rest of our lives. Thank you wolf shirt.

Pros: Fits my girthy frame, has wolves on it, attracts women
Cons: Only 3 wolves (could probably use a few more on the 'guns'), cannot see wolves when sitting with arms crossed, wolves would have been better if they glowed in the dark.

Clicky here for the best of the praise.

And why not indulge in a song?


Michael Manning said...

Sylvana: You are fascinating and fun! :)

Sylvana said...

Michael Manning, like WOLVES? ;)

sideshow bob said...

You are so 3 Wolf Moon.

Michael Manning said...

Hi, Sylvana! Just stopped over to say Hello and see what you've been up to! :)

Sylvana said...

SSB, so sweet!

Michael Manning, I have been gardening! Almost all my spring chores are done, tho so I should be able to post here soon!