Meet My Dad

Wednesday, November 09, 2005 | 0 Comments

My dad is quite a character. In fact he is one of the funniest people that I know. He leaves me some of the strangest messages on my answering machine. I got one last night that I found hilarious. I thought I'd try out this whole audio blogging thing so you all could enjoy the comedic genius that is my father. So enjoy!
I love you dad!!

this is an audio post - click to play

Have fun trying to figure out what he is saying first, then read the transcript! Thanks for the idea Shannon!

07/06/2009 audio link broken. Here is the transcript:

"Answer the phone. [pause] Can't you here it? [pause] Shor I hear it, but I'm no where near it. [pause] Call me sometime. [pause] I'm not made of money, you know. [pause] Good-bye."

15 Comments

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Blogger sands of time said...

That was funny.I loved the way he pauses between each sentence.Like he's waiting for a response

November 09, 2005 10:11 AM

Blogger nope said...

Cool! Your dad sounds neat!

Glad you posted - I thought maybe work had become too much for ya! :)

Looks like you're gonna need to turn on your word verification ...

November 09, 2005 10:11 AM

Blogger Dr. Who said...

I'll agree with the Pink Lady. The pauses between the sentences made the difference for me!

November 09, 2005 2:40 PM

Blogger The Doc said...

That man is out of control! I also enjoy the phrase "Sure I hear it but I'm nowhere near it." I'm going to have to try using it in regular conversation some time.

November 09, 2005 5:22 PM

Blogger Shannon said...

That's some funny, funny shit! I was so confused the first time I listened, but after two or three times, and gathering the office 'round to listen it, I think it's all been cleared up.

November 09, 2005 6:38 PM

Blogger Sylvana said...

Pink Lady, he probably was waiting for a response, he thinks I screen his calls. But then again, he talks like that normally too.

Indiaynke, my dad is a complex man.
I hate word verification. It is simple enough to just delete the spam so that my visitors don't have the hassle of that crazy thing.

Dr. Who, he has great comedic timing.

The Doc, how astute; my dad is often out of control. He also likes to rhyme.

Shannon, I guess I should have offered a transcript.

November 09, 2005 7:18 PM

Blogger DrMax said...

Wow Syl, you are sure getting a lot of Doctors reading your site. Enjoyed you Dad's message, put some funky beats behind that and you could have a hit.

November 09, 2005 11:15 PM

Blogger Sylvana said...

DrMax, I was noticing that today too.
That is a good idea. SSB has a mini studio in the basement. I should have him mix something up.

November 09, 2005 11:35 PM

Blogger nope said...

Sylvana, you need to send me an e-mail so I can converse further with you! indiaiynkeREMOVETHIS@REMOVETHISgmail.com

November 10, 2005 9:03 AM

Blogger Rae Ann said...

How funny! I love the 'I'm not made of money' comment!

November 10, 2005 9:08 AM

Blogger Sylvana said...

Indiaiynke, my email address in the sidebar.

Rae Ann, I have that drilled into my head. I've been hearing it for 33 years!

November 10, 2005 9:06 PM

Blogger nope said...

That'll teach me not to go all the way to the bottom - ya never know what I might miss!!! :)

November 11, 2005 9:11 AM

Blogger Maria said...

LOL! Too funny!

November 12, 2005 12:16 PM

Blogger SierraBella said...

What a cool guy!
Glad you added the transcript, I couldn't get the first part of the message.

November 12, 2005 3:16 PM

Blogger Sylvana said...

Eh, Indiaiynke, I don't think that a lot of people look at my sidebar unless I specifically tell them to.

Maria, I told my dad that his message was soon to become a cult classic. I think he thought I was joking.

Sierrabella, my dad is cool for the most part, but is a very complex man that can be very difficult if not impossible at times to deal with.

November 13, 2005 12:24 PM

Simple Pleasures

Saturday, November 05, 2005 | 0 Comments

Whenever SSB or I get laundry fresh from the dryer, we will offer it to the other- "Warm laundry?" we will ask.
Then we will pile it on the other so they can enjoy the fresh, warm goodness. It is such a treat, especially in the colder months!!

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Blogger nope said...

How lovely - such a simple thing to write about evokes wonderful smells and comfy feelings. Thank you!

November 05, 2005 7:31 PM

Blogger evilsciencechick said...

heehee...foreplay in the frozen north!


see how I took something simple and innocent and make it dirty. yeah...sorry about that.


(we do the same thing!)

November 05, 2005 8:50 PM

Blogger OldRoses said...

I love warm laundry in the colder months! Sharing it with someone. Hmmmm...never thought of that. I'll have to find someone to share it with.

November 05, 2005 10:58 PM

Blogger Shamus O'Drunkahan said...

It gets cold in Wisconsin?

November 06, 2005 10:07 AM

Blogger sideshow bob said...

You have to becareful to ermemeber to sort through the load before you dump it on your loved ones...those hot zippers can really sting!

November 06, 2005 10:36 AM

Blogger sideshow bob said...

I should really proof-read my comments...

November 06, 2005 10:36 AM

Blogger Sylvana said...

Indiaiynke, I was reminded about this when I went in for a massage yesterday and she used hot stones on me. I said it was like warm laundry- she laughed.

ESC, I think everything can be talked about like it is dirty if you just word it right. It was nice to find that other people enjoy this simple pleasure too!

OldRoses, you could have a Warm Laundry party.

Shamus, not with warm laundry!

SSB, ermember is a word. It is when you suddenly realize that you forgot something.

November 06, 2005 11:59 AM

Blogger Lyvvie said...

Sassy and I share this special treat too! Towels just pulled out of the tumble dryer and shared cuddles - nothing sweeter!

November 06, 2005 1:54 PM

Blogger Sylvana said...

Lyvvie, I have a portable radiator to heat my bathroom when taking a shower. Right before I get out of the shower, I will throw a towel over it so I have a nice hot towel to dry off with. AH! It is so nice!

November 06, 2005 5:22 PM

Blogger sands of time said...

sounds lovely

November 07, 2005 9:54 AM

Blogger Lovely Lisa said...

I love warm fresh laundry...smelling of snuggle or downy or whatever softner you use!!

My mom would always yell at us, but we loved jumping and burying ourselves in the pile of clean out of the dryer clothes!

November 07, 2005 12:07 PM

Blogger Spencer said...

Yankees! Ya all are so funny!

Winter don't know how you do it I can say it's fun to look at!

November 07, 2005 2:19 PM

Blogger Derek Knight said...

I don't know whether to smile or poke fun...

So...Confused...

November 07, 2005 4:40 PM

Blogger Sylvana said...

Pink Lady, it's the little things that keep you going sometimes.

Lovely Lisa, we use Bounce Outdoor Fresh Scent.

Spencer, I love winter. But I don't like it if it is cold without snow. I mean what's the point of cold without snow?

Derek, you can do both, if you like. But maybe you should try a warm laundry pile yourself sometime. It really is a treat!

November 07, 2005 6:53 PM

Blogger DrMax said...

If only you could keep you underwear fresh from the dryer warm all day long. Below zero? Bah!

November 08, 2005 5:21 AM

Blogger Wendy A said...

It is important to stop and smell the flowers in life. Try dry lined sheet. They smell soooooo good. Good on ya mate. America can be a tough place to live.

November 09, 2005 4:33 AM

Blogger Sylvana said...

DrMax, my favorite things to put on fresh from the dryer are socks and pants - but you have to watch out for the zippers in the pants!

Wendy A, our birds like to poop on our line dried clothes, so I opt for the dryer or hanging them up inside.

November 09, 2005 7:08 PM

Outta That Hell Hole

Wednesday, November 02, 2005 | 0 Comments

SSB's first day of freedom was today. He got up with me and JD so that he could see us off for the day. Imagine that; getting up at 6am even though he really didn't have to, just so he could spend some time with his family. Isn't he a great guy?

I'm so glad to see him out of that hell hole. I used to work there. In fact I worked there for two years before SSB started there. The money was good, but the work was dangerous and the people there suck ass. So I insisted that he be allowed to work with me. I was sick of getting lazy assholes for partners and I didn't want SSB to have to suffer them either.

We were a fabulous team. Our production was the best on our line. Many people took offense to that (uh, did I mention that these people suck ass?). They tried to get us in trouble all the time so that we would not be allowed to work together anymore. They even would come to us and tell us that it wasn't natural to spend all your time with your spouse and still get along. They really hated that we got along so well.

Well, they got their wish when I got injured at work and ended up not being able to work there anymore. Having to leave that job at first seemed like a terrible thing, but once I realized that I no longer had to suffer the insanity of that place, I realized that fate had done me a great favor. Even though it meant that I would have an injury that would cause me pain for the rest of my life, I no longer had to go to that crazy place. I didn't even realize how crazy that place was making me until I got out.

I think that SSB will be thinking the same thing. We went out and celebrated last night at our favorite Chinese restaurant. Sure, it will be hard now that he isn't making that money and we won't have insurance, but in the end, we both know that it was time for him to move on.

What is kind of freaky is that two years ago, at this very time of year, he told me that in two years he no longer wanted to be working at that job. He didn't know that they would be shutting the place down, he just wanted to know that he wouldn't be working there forever, so he picked a deadline. Weird how that worked out so he wouldn't even have to quit. Because the place is shutting down he will get severance, unemployment, and re-education. All things that he wouldn't have been able to get if he had just quit. I love how things just work themselves out sometimes.

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Blogger sideshow bob said...

I looking at this as an opportunity rather than a crisis...I've been smiling pretty much ever since I walked out of that place for the last time!

November 02, 2005 11:25 PM

Blogger DrMax said...

Good luck SSB. Most people I know who hate their jobs do so because the companies they work for don't trust them enough to do it. It's the feeling of powerlessness that drains you, that your opinions don't matter even though you could save them a lot of time and money if they'd listen. Do enjoy the time to reflect and recharge. Skip watching the Packer too for a few weeks, you don't want to ruin you good frame of mind.

November 03, 2005 2:27 AM

Blogger nope said...

Congratulations on SSB's sweet ending! No bridges burned for either of you, and nothing but a pleasant future ahead! Couldn't be any better!

November 03, 2005 8:47 AM

Blogger sands of time said...

Well good luck to SSB and whatever he decides to do in the future.You can do anything you want if you put your mind to it.

November 03, 2005 9:13 AM

Blogger Lightning Bug's Butt said...

Love the title of this blog.

November 03, 2005 2:26 PM

Blogger OldRoses said...

Career change! Career change! If they are paying for re-education, is there something SSB has always wanted to do? I did that. I'm still paying off the student loans, but it was worth every penny. And I got laid off from the job I was trying to get away from halfway through school! Thank goodness I had made the decision to change careers already.

November 04, 2005 12:35 AM

Blogger Shamus O'Drunkahan said...

Let me guess, did you guys work at a Nuclear Power Plant?

Because that can be a dangerous place to work.

November 04, 2005 7:24 AM

Blogger Shannon said...

Free at last! Congrats to SSB!

There's Title 1 retraining money for displaced workers. What's he going to study?

November 04, 2005 2:09 PM

Blogger sideshow bob said...

Dr. Max- I think I'm finally in the right frame of mind to endure the rest of the season. So much more relaxed! And we could use a nice early draft pick.

shannon- I'm going be be an IT geek, hooking up networks and such. I plan on working for a company where I can be the coolest nerd.

November 04, 2005 2:54 PM

Blogger evilsciencechick said...

you're the coolest nerd in school, SSB ;)

November 04, 2005 3:10 PM

Blogger Beo said...

Everything happens for a reason Sylvana. It was meant to be, but wasn't meant to be is how much pain you'll be in for the rest of your life. What's up with that?

What is SSB, a cattle wrangling facility? Sounds crazy, and is insurance covering your injury?

Oh well. It's all apart of the plan.:)

November 04, 2005 3:29 PM

Blogger Sylvana said...

Dr. Max, Packer fans never give up hope!!

Indiaiynke, thanks!

Pink Lady, he's a smart guy. He will do well!

Welcome to my blog LBB! And thanks!

OldRoses, I guess SSB already answered what he is planning to do. He is eligible for grants and some money from a displaced worker fund...if there is any money in it.

Shamus, you'd think so with all the morons working there- but actually we worked in a place with sheet metal and very heavy machinery, oh and morons. Morons and drunks. Both very dangerous to work with around sheet metal and heavy machinery.

Shannon, he is getting some money through regular grants. We are waiting to find out about the displaced worker funding.

ESC, he will be the Tech-Zen Master!

Beo, my case with my employer has been settled- and in my favor, I might add. As part of the agreement they made me promise that I would never work there again. WELL DUH!!!

November 04, 2005 5:48 PM

Blogger Quz Boss said...

Maybe once or twice I was in a deep hole, I'm still in it but out. Glad dat yo friend is outta it ;-) PEACE

November 05, 2005 8:40 AM

Blogger Quz Boss said...

Maybe once or twice I was in a deep hole, I'm still in it but out. Glad dat yo friend is outta it ;-) PEACE

November 05, 2005 8:40 AM

Blogger Sylvana said...

Welcome to my blog! When I get in a deep hole, I try to find some positives. They make nice footings with which to get out.

November 05, 2005 6:14 PM

Blogger Scott said...

COngratulations and good luck, SSB! What a crazy thing for someone to say, that it "isn't natural" to spend that much time with a spouse. If only I had that opportunity.

On a side note, I never though to read the words, "suck ass" on your blog.

November 07, 2005 8:57 AM

Blogger Sylvana said...

Scott, I think those people married the wrong people!
Oh, and I went to The Sailor School of Language. You should hear me when I go home for the holidays! The closer I get to my parents house, the filthier my mouth gets!

November 07, 2005 6:47 PM

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